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Golf Australia Express : Issue 16
IT STARTED over a girl. I know it sounds like a cliché and I wish that was all there was to it, but nothing’s ever simple with Jack. On the first fairway I mentioned to him some ideas which came out of my last column. Simple stuff—wondering how far our drives would go with Titanium SuperSonic ExtraDistance Plus (or something like that). I could tell Jack wasn’t having any of it by the curt “I read your column”, as if that was an end to it. Which it wasn’t, mainly because I was so surprised by his reaction. In my mind, he had been my number one flag bearer, the bugle call- to-technological-arms that would surely be sounding soon over placid morning mist greens. Without him, how could I start the Revolution? And there he was talking about integrity of records and how it was so insensitive to simply ignore the past. “It’s all well and good to ‘oooh’ and ‘aaaah’ at Tiger smashing the ball so far it needs its own passport, but who really cares? What difference does it make if Tiger’s best drive will be a piffle compared to anything hit by the SuperSmash 3000 XL or whatever you call it? When it’s not unusual for peopletohitapar5intwo you’ve got real problems. The GK has real problems, and when the GK is done, we’re all done.” Moment of peace as he radiated beatific contemplation on the Great Green Keeper before shadows again descend on his face. “No-one...”—and he’d gone all quiet which was definitely more of a concern than the brute force of earlier outbursts – “...cares about Dot anymore.” Sweet Mary Jane, who the hell is Dot? As a matter of personal safety I needed to know, and it didn’t take much teasing to get Dorothy Campbell’s name out of the golf cap. Apparently Jack had found some pictures of her from the roaring 20s that had set his mind (to say the least) on fire—even claimed she was the reason he started playing. She and her great short game could not be forgotten. Clearly, this had been brewing for a while and I, unknowingly, had walked smiling into the full brunt of a Cat 5 Jack Storm. Mate. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings when I suggested golf should move with the times. That’s why I didn’t compliment you on your new driver. Maybe you’ll give me a go with it next week. OTG ANOTHER ARGUMENT WITH JACK INEVITABLY TURNS INTO A GOLF HISTORY LESSON, WRITES WILL HONE. DOT YOUR TEES with Will Hone IN HONING They are the stars...you be the Hero Bring your dreams to life by being a Hero of The Presidents Cup®. Personalise your Youbookz Herobook with your own photos, or use ours – the choice is yours. Each photobook contains: • 40 pages of professional Presidents Cup photography • Review of each day’s play as well as a large selection of professionally photographed action photos of the players www.youbookz.com Visit us at our on-site marquee in the village OFFICIAL LICENSED PRODUCT ®