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Golf Australia Express : Issue 27
JACK HASN’T stopped talking about Bob. After last week’s debacle I’ve endured countless conversations about the evils of Bob’s relaxed approach to golf—he is to Jack what the communists were to 1950s America. But there is one point upon which we both agree. On the 13th, Bob took a call. I don’t know what it was about and don’t really care—and nor was the ring-tone a problem. It didn’t go off mid swing or as we were walking along a particularly picturesque part of the course. He was on the other side of the fairway—and I didn’t IT’S ALL GOOD TO BE MOBILE ON COURSE, IT’S JUST NOT GOOD TO USE ONE, WRITES WILL HONE. RINGING ME TO TEARS with Will Hone IN HONING go close for fear of intruding on his private verbal transactions. Nevertheless, the offence was there: Bob pulled his phone on the course. To him, I suppose, it was just the same as pulling it on the train or walking down the street—golf, to Bob, is little more than a walk in an extensive park. But to me, and I think to the Civilised World, pulling a phone on the course is an extremely problematic proposition. I don’t like knee-jerk reactions—I try to understand why I am whatIam,andIthinkI understand why phones are so bad on the course. Golf is about getting away from the world. I don’t care if your name’s McIlroy or Mac, or if you play off 47 or scratch, when you settle on the first the only thing in your mind is the fairway ahead of you. Or the water. Or the trees to the left that you seem to hit every single time you play there. And a phone is an incursion—an invasion from the rest of the world. It breaks the spell that is cast when everyone agrees that, for a while, we are visiting Another Place— Another Dimension—the Golf Dimension. With a phone, you are never away, you are never out- of-reach. And that is a tragic thing. Consider this. As mobile phones have become ubiquitous, road rage has been normalised. Rage on our roads is no longer news. Golf rage? If we allow phones to weave their insidious web through the gossamer of the Greens Keeper’s blanket such an abomination will become commonplace. In the name of everything that is sacred and in the name of the most Holy Greens Keeper please, Bob, leave it at home. Now excuse me, I need to get that... OTG A phone is an incursion—an invasion from the rest of the world.